Lying Still: A Cobra, a Boy on a Natal Farm in South Africa, and a Lesson in Waiting

 What Is Scapegoating?  -  A Simple Explanation of Human Behaviour Scapegoating is something most of us have witnessed, even if we have never named it. At its simplest, scapegoating occurs when a group places blame for a problem on one individual. The person may be partly responsible, or not responsible at all — but they become the focus of the group’s frustration, anxiety, or confusion. In that moment, something subtle takes place. The problem feels clearer. The tension seems to ease. The group regains a sense of order. But the deeper issue is rarely resolved. Why Do People Scapegoat? When uncertainty enters a situation, people naturally look for explanations. Why is this happening? Who is responsible? What can be done? In the absence of clear answers, groups often settle on a person rather than a problem . It is easier to point than to pause. Easier to assign blame than to live with uncertainty. Over time, small observations begin to gather: a co...

  Scapegoats, Suspicion, and Truth At first, it was only a change in the air around the farm. Conversations paused when someone approached. A glance held a little longer than usual. No one could yet explain what was wrong, but the quiet sense that something was unfolding had begun to settle over us. Sometimes communities begin to change long before anyone can explain why. The Atmosphere of Suspicion When uncertainty spreads through a group, people begin comparing observations. A small remark here, an uneasy feeling there. Gradually, those fragments gather into patterns, and before long, suspicion begins to settle somewhere. Looking back now, I realise how easily moments like that can drift toward something else entirely. René Girard and the Scapegoat Mechanism Years later, I encountered the work of the French thinker René Girard , who described what he called the Scapegoat Theory . Girard observed that when communities experience tension or fear, they often restore a sense of ...

  The African Oddity - Writing Memory That Bridges Cultures I Am Not Writing a Nostalgic African Childhood Let me say this clearly: I am not writing a sentimental farm memoir. I am not romanticising red soil, cattle bells, or barefoot freedom. What I am writing is far more unsettling. Over the past few weeks, as the manuscript for From My Tribe to Yours has deepened, I’ve realised this book is not about remembering childhood — it is about confronting the fracture that began there. I Didn’t Know What School Was When my mother told me I was going to school, I did not know what the word meant. Pause there. Not because I was neglected. Not because we were destitute. But because my world was so culturally contained that the concept of institutional education had never entered it. That is not charming. That is isolation. Writing that chapter forced me to see something uncomfortable: what feels like innocence in memory can also be a form of confinement. The farm was vas...

  The Space Between Tribes: Faith, Identity & Belonging I have been called many things in my life, but rarely have I fitted the names comfortably. On the farms of my South African childhood, I belonged without quite belonging — a white boy speaking isiZulu, moving easily where invisible lines were meant to stand. Years later, in the United Kingdom, I discovered that one can cross oceans and still remain an oddity of sorts. This space is not an argument, nor a defence. It is simply a place to reflect on how a life lived between tribes slowly widens into something steadier than either tribe. In my early years of formation, I was on farms not far from Sharpeville, though as a child I did not yet understand the weight that name would carry in history. The land was my first teacher. Red soil that clung to bare feet. The sweet-sour scent of cattle. Wind pressing through blue gums planted as windbreaks. Men and women who worked the land with us, who spoke to each other in rhythms diff...